Job Qualifications Real Meaning Exposed!!!

To all fresh grads out there and those hunting for jobs, this is for you! Be mindful of these terms when you see them in the qualifications!

FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen and figure out what they want you to do.

SELF-MOTIVATED: Management won’t answer questions.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You whine, you’re fired.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

CAREER-MINDED: We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT: We have a lot of turnover.

DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER: We’re not going to supply you with leads; there’s no base salary; you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED: If we’re in trouble, you’ll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

source:
http://www.pjlighthouse.com/2008/08/01/funnies-job-search-jargon/